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31 December 2009 @ 08:45 pm
As this year comes to a close and a new one is about to begin, it shouldn't really have much significance aside from turning another page on the calendar, right? In reality, it's not that big of a deal, but I don't know why I'm having such a hard time letting go of this year, but most importantly, this decade.

The decade flew by so fast... I can hardly believe that ten years ago tonight I was with friends running around like idiots in the streets with sparklers when the clock struck twelve because we all thought the world was going to end because of the new millennium. Ten years ago, I was just starting high school, or at least half way through my freshman year, and it honestly doesn't feel like it was that long ago. I laughed when my parents would say that high school and college would go by fast, but now I'm laughing just because it really did.

I don't really know what the point of this entry is about... I guess it's just thoughts that I've had rattling around in my brain when I've thought about this New Year in general. This decade contained so many people and events that made me who I am today, I guess I'm just afraid that with it gone, I'm going to lose more of it than I already have. Even though I was born in the eighties and most of my childhood was in the nineties, I grew up in this decade. I experienced high school, the many ups and downs that came with it... concerts, parties, drugs, depression, and the "fuck the world" attitude. I experienced my first heartache, my first love, my first time away from home... everything that comes with growing up. Again, no real point in this entry aside from saying in my roundabout way that I miss some aspects, and I stress some, of high school and that I'm afraid that the more time passes, the more I'm going to forget about it.

As one of my resolutions this year (funny, I know, 'cause they're rarely kept), I AM going to try to write in here more, or write in general... but most importantly I'm not going to forget the decade that made me who I am.

Happy New Year, everyone.
Current Mood: nostalgicnostalgic
Current Music: Forty Six and Two (Tool)
01 October 2009 @ 02:14 am
I realize how ridiculously sad it is that I haven't had a good update in over a year. I've gone back over the past couple of months and read this journal in its entirety, as well as my other LJ and my Deadjournal. I guess this past year has been an important one for me, mostly because above anything, it has taught me to never, ever forget the past, and most importantly, never forget those who are involved in your past. I have so, SO much to write about, and I honestly don't think I'll be able to get it done in just one entry, so this huge update might possibly occur over several posts, but hopefully I am able to get everything down that I want to mention. I do want to start posting on a normal basis again... I feel like there has been something missing since I have stopped writing about my life. Plus, I've noticed that my writing is terribly rusty, and I like to think that this somehow will help my diminishing writing skills. With that said...

There were a few things I mentioned in the entry I made last September, one being that Sarah and I were going to the gym on a regular basis. We actually made a good run of it, and I found myself getting back into shape. We did go for quite a while and at one point, I was biking almost ten miles in less than 45 minutes- it rocked! Unfortunately, I haven't been to the gym since the day before St. Patty's Day, and I'm afraid that I've gained back the weight I lost (and then some), but with winter coming, and a sudden burst of motivation- followed by a bout of depression- I am determined to get back into the habit of going to the gym. I know, I've said this for years that I want to lose weight, but I am very unhappy with the fact that I've gained thirty pounds since I moved up to the Bangor area and I want to change it. I hope this journal serves a big part in my efforts to lose weight, because I really need something to keep me motivated. Maybe writing about it will.

Again, mentioned in the previous entry, I was going to see Flogging Molly. I saw Flogging Molly. One of the best shows I've seen in a long time... they were amazing and I'd love to see them again. I also saw a lot of people from high school that I hadn't seen in years, kind of like the old gang was back together again for another show at the Asylum just like we used to be when we were sixteen and stupid. It rocked.

Ah yes, now the Red Sox game. That was, hands down, one of the best nights of my life. Not only did we win the game- and I go 2 for 2 at Fenway that year- but we clinched the AL East Wild Card. So naturally, the team came out after the game with champagne and celebrated on the field, which it was so awesome to see and be there for. We got right behind the Sox dugout too. After the game, we decided to go to Game On!, the bar right inside Fenway for a couple of drinks. We enjoyed a few drinks and were about to leave when we turn around and Coco Crisp and a few other players are walking towards the back of the bar. Ten minutes later, 80% of the team is in the bar with about three hundred Red Sox fans. Beckett, Lester, Pedroia, and Timlin were all behind the bar handing out shots and beers to anyone that wanted one. The music was blasting, everyone sang along to "Livin' on a Prayer" by Bon Jovi, and we were celebrating. It just blew my mind that the Sox players would actually go to a bar packed full of Sox fans and involve us in the celebration. It was such a surreal experience to look to my left and see Josh Beckett biting off the cap to some kid's Budweiser and spitting it out, and then look to my right and see Mike Timlin dancing on a table. Plus! I got to meet Mike Lowell (he called me "sweetie!") and formally introduce myself to Dustin Pedroia, and get an atomic high five from Jon Lester- I swear I thought my hand was on fire for about a half an hour. That's something I know I'll never forget, and it also makes me mad because I had told myself that I wouldn't need a camera, and my cell phone camera just didn't cut it. Oh well, I have some great stories to tell anyway.

Sarah and I got a new addition to our house... we took in her sister's cat Shibby last October, and she's been living with us ever since. I was hesitant in getting a cat, just because I'm not much of a cat person by any means, and I'm allergic, but she's grown on me and fit right in. She's a joy to have around, when she's not eating the plants and terrorizing my gerbils, but I love having an animal in the house to greet me when I come home and to spoil rotten, and trust me, she is.

I'm currently not teaching at the moment, as most of you already know. With the economy the way it is, jobs are scarce in almost any field, but especially with education with all the budget cuts, and the zillions of other teachers looking for a job like me. This year I want to start subbing again, especially since I wasn't able to last year and I know that I'm rusty. The older I get, the more I wish I could go back and do student teaching over again, just because I don't think that I was ready to take it quite so seriously the first time around. Well, not because I didn't take it seriously in the first place, I don't think I had enough confidence the first time around. Not to say I have much confidence now, but I like to think I have more than I did at that point.

In the meantime, I'm working as a full-time second assistant manager at Yankee Candle. I was hired as a seasonal manager, but I was kept on after the season was done, and promoted to full time. So, not only do I get a minimum of 32 hours a week, but I get benefits too. My parents were worried that I wasn't going to have health insurance for so long that they were relieved when I was able to get it through work. I like my job alright... I like having more responsibility involved in the job, and I absolutely love the people that I work with. I've made some great friends working at YC, and it makes waking up and dealing with bitchy customers a little more tolerable when you know the second the assholes leave the door, you and your co-worker are going to be joking about it. The holiday season last year seemed to go by faster than the previous years, probably because I was so busy at work. It was such a rough year for everyone because of American Steel being bought out by a bunch of douchebags that don't know their head from their ass. We got news a few weeks ago that the company is about to file for bankruptcy... serves them right, assholes. My dad's new business is doing really well, and he and my brother are really busy, which keeps the both of them out of trouble!

I was able to spend Christmas with my family and my grandfather which was awesome considering everything that happened earlier in the year. I was excited to get home and spend time with everyone, but especially my dad in lieu of his operation.. I had Christmas Eve off last year, so my grandfather joined me on the drive down to Portland. I thought it was going to be an awkward drive down and that I'd have to keep the heat on at a thousand degrees so he wouldn't complain, and he was equally nervous about the fact that I was driving and he thought I was going to drive a thousand miles an hour. But, it was a really pleasant drive down, and I was able to talk to my grandfather for longer than I think I ever have. He talked a lot about the war, and places he went when he was in the Navy. I'd never heard him talk about his time in the service much, so it was nice to learn more about him. Plus, he kept complimenting me on how good of a driver I was, and how he was so surprised that we hadn't gone off the road yet, ha!

I brought in the New Year out to camp this year, which was COLD. It was probably the coldest it had gotten all winter so far, and there was about six feet of snow out there already, if not more. I had thought about going to Portland for New Year's, but when I found out that my parents were coming up to the camp, I didn't want to do anything but go out and play cards with them all night. We played cribbage (more like I tried to play cribbage) and I introduced my parents to Apples to Apples- it was hilarious! At midnight, my dad took his pistol and went outside on the front porch of the camp and fired off about eight rounds, he brought the New Year in redneck style. It was sort of symbolic though, him shooting away all the crap that happened to him the past year, kind of like one final FU to the past year. I just felt bad for my poor mother who was standing next to him not realizing he was going to fire off the gun that many times in a row. After that, we opened a bottle of bubbly and drank it until it was gone and we were all feeling pretty damn good.

This next event isn't really of any importance to most, but for me it is a HUGE deal. Ever since I can remember, I've been petrified of needles, morbidly petrified. I just see one and I would instantly be in hysterics, but this past January, I donated blood. Willingly. Didn't even put up a fight. Amazing, no? Sarah's friend has a baby that has Diamond Blackfan Anemia, which I don't know the exact specifics, but I do know that her body can't produce hemoglobin for her blood, so she relies heavily on transfusions every couple of weeks. The Maine Blood Center was having a blood drive in her name, and Sarah and I went to donate. Poor Sarah passed out while donating, which was awesome because I had a needle in my arm and wasn't able to do damn thing about it. She came to and was fine though. Apparently I'm a good bleeder because it took me no time to fill up that bag- the guy said I was the fastest he had that day. A woman that worked at the blood center asked me why I decided to donate because I told her of my immense fear of needles, and I told her about my dad, and how while he was in the hospital I overcame my fear of needles after seeing them so much, and then how he had to have several transfusions following the surgery. So, I donated for Maggie, but mostly for my dad. So many people had contributed blood to help him out, I felt like I owed someone somewhere for their generosity, so what better way to repay them. My mom was in total shock when I told her what I had done, and I had to take a picture of my smiley face bandage as proof. My mom passed the phone to my dad so I could tell him too, but I still had a hard time telling him it was mostly for him. I know my mom told him eventually, however, because the next time I saw him, I got the biggest hug from him.

There's tons more that I need to write about... and I honestly don't know where to go from here. Oh yeah, that idea for the novel that I had is still... rattling around in my head. I've found out who some of my characters are and a basic plot, but I haven't written most of it down yet. Since the economy is so bad at work, we have a lot of time to just stand around and do nothing, and being a manager, I am alone at work a lot, sometimes for hours. When I'm there, I either read or write... and with an abundance of tissue paper, I tend to write. Most of my novel has been written on tissue paper, but none of it has been typed out, edited, or even put together yet. I guess it's a good thing that I have all that paper there because I would never remember anything that I want to include in the novel. I haven't written much lately- it comes in spurts... I can go months without any ideas, and then have one night where I can't stop writing. I hope that I can get some of it out on paper, or at least out of my brain since Sarah and I are planning on going to a writer's conference in Boston, and perhaps someone can help me out with this idea I have.

Anyway, I think that's enough for now... I will finish this update sooner than a year from now... more like within the next couple of days, now that I've had the proper motivation to actually click on the "update journal" button and start writing. I hope this has opened the flood gates to my writing habits, since I've had none lately. Anywho, rambling now...
Current Mood: okaymotivated
Current Music: All I Wanted (Paramore)
23 May 2009 @ 12:16 am
I SWEAR, a long, worthwhile entry is coming soon... SOON!
01 April 2009 @ 05:48 pm
I've been feeling overly nostalgic lately. Perhaps it was the recent visit back home where I locked myself in my room until the wee hours of the morning and went through pictures from high school, journal entries, jewelry, stuffed animals... pretty much everything that I have some incredible emotional attachment to in my room. I'll elaborate on it more. It's about time for a lengthy, hearty update. Stay tuned, folks.
Current Mood: nostalgicnostalgic
Current Music: 15 step (Radiohead)
03 September 2008 @ 12:33 am
These past few weeks have proven to be quite interesting. Since then, I have attended two parties with good friends, one being a Halloween party in August, and the other resulting in a trip to the emergency room, had my car towed, and hopefully started a novel, but I'll get more into those later.

Things with the family are starting to look up. My grandfather is at home and recuperating from the heart attack very well. It turns out he didn't have a blockage in his arteries as originally thought, but instead he had a blood clot. I guess that's good news in the heart attack world, or so we were told.

Dad's slowly getting back on his feet in terms of employment. He's been having meetings with several different companies/groups on starting his own steel business or opening up his own branch of an already established company for a couple of weeks now. Its still weird to think that he's actually unemployed and not working at American Steel anymore, but we're all trying to look at the positives in this case. David's excited to get back to work too. In the meantime, he's planning on going back to school to study masonry. I guess he's enrolled in a few classes at SMCC, and I think that's the best thing he could possibly do for himself. He's been shadowing one of his friends that's into masonry, and it's something he seems to enjoy. As for my mom, she's just riding the huge wave of crazy that's surrounded my family for the past year as best she can. I've had a lot of 2+ hour conversations with her on the phone lately.

Haven't really been out to the camp much since my grandfather had his heart attack, but I was able to spend the night out there a few weeks ago with my brother, Dan, and Baloo. It was pretty fun, until Baloo decided it was a good idea to share a one person cot with me all night...

I've been working at ridiculous amount of hours at Yankee Candle the past few weeks. Tomorrow is my last day of work before I have my first day off in nine days. I am SO ready for those few days off to regain my sanity. Working at a candle store shouldn't be that intense, but Canadians are pretty hardcore when it comes to their candles... I'm pretty bummed out too because I just found out that a co-worker of mine is leaving next week to be a manager somewhere else. Of course the person I get along with the most at work is leaving, but I wish her nothing but the best and tons of happiness.

I hated my car a few weeks ago and seriously contemplated about driving it off a cliff. I love my car to death, but with Volkswagens, whenever something goes wrong, it's always minor yet costs a million dollars to fix. With my car, the battery decided to die. Granted, I've never changed the battery since I've owned it, but this was just beyond ridiculous. I had to have my grandfather come and give me a boost, and then I drove it to the Volkswagen dealership in Bangor to have it fixed. I figured it'd be a small fortune because they were replacing a battery and then resetting the computer in my car. $250 later, I drove my car off their lot. I get on the highway and notice my brakes are incredibly touchy. They mentioned to me they replaced a faulty brake light switch that was recalled. I get off the Kelley Rd. exit and all of a sudden, my gas pedal seems to not be working. My engine is revving and everything, but I'm simply not accelerating. I get about 2/3 the way down Kelley Rd. and notice there's a shit-ton of smoke behind me. My brakes had locked up and my tires were rubbing against my brake pads. I called Darling's (the Volkswagen place) and explained to them what happened, and they came to tow me. My car gets towed and they call me about two hours later (at 11:30 at night) and tell me that the brake light switch they replaced from the supposed faulty switch was, indeed, faulty. That makes sense... how? Don't fix it if it ain't broken... needless to say, they paid for the tow.

Thankfully I was able to use my car that weekend, and I went home to SoPo for a short visit. Mim was having her annual birthday bash, but this year it was back at her parents' house, old school style. It was just like it was back in middle/high school, but there were a lot more people there that I didn't know. It was pretty much a whole lotta people from different periods in Mim's life, so I was thankful to see Ashley and Rik there since I hadn't seen them in forever. It was great to see Mim's parents and her brother and sister. It was so weird seeing Nicky be so... tall, and drinking, and smoking. He's still the little kid I remember who was infatuated with Legos... Anyway, it was a great time to be had by all, everyone was chatting and drinking. Eventually, one of Mim's friends showed up with a Great Dane that was probably the biggest dog I have ever seen in my life. Mim didn't quite use her judgment when she decided to take the dog for a run down her driveway... she fell and smacked her head right into the pavement, which resulted in a gash on her forehead and a trip to the emergency room. In all the confusion, she named her boyfriend, Emily, and myself to accompany her to the emergency room while her father sped the car through SoPo and Portland. Four hours later, at nearly four in the morning, we were headed back to the house, and Mim had five stitches and a whole buncha bandages. We had a late night/early morning snack of Ramen before crashing. On the plus side, Mim has actually moved to Bangor since the party to live with her boyfriend and start a new life, which really excites me. It's like having a piece of home up here finally, I just hope that we actually hang out and have the chance to re-connect again.

Just this past week, I went to Nikki's Halloween party in August. Her friend was moving to Abu Dhabi and her favorite holiday is Halloween, and since they don't celebrate Halloween over there, her going away party was Halloween themed. I dressed up as some fairy-like creature, went to Margarita's, got stared at, watched some kids in the apartment across the street dance like hippies, played Apples to Apples, and had lots of fun.

Oh yeah, last time I posted, I think I was excited about Breaking Dawn coming out. Yeah, Sarah and I went to the midnight release, got bombarded with twelve year olds with "I heart Edward" shirts and had an ok time. I finished the book about a week after I got it and... I really didn't like it. I was very disappointed, but hey, at least the first three were good. I still love my Jacob Black though.

Speaking of, I have been inspired. Yes, I am hoping... praying, that my writer's block, or lack of creative inspiration has ceased to exist. Maybe its inspiration from reading so many vampire novels lately, or the fact that my roommate has written a vampire novel that is more than likely getting published, but I have started a novel of my own. I had this vision in my head of this one scene with five people in it, but I didn't know who they were or why they were meeting. Over the past few weeks, the fuzzy faces are getting clearer and clearer, and the reason for their meeting is getting much more developed. Its in the early stages, but I am very excited that I'm finally getting some creative writing in there without a prompt from a professor.

And that's all she wrote, for now.

Oh, things I'm excited for in the coming months:

-I'm going to the gym with Sarah on a regular basis starting tomorrow. New student rec center on campus has a deal where a student can add someone on to their membership for $25 bucks a semester as long as they live under the same roof. Hells yeah! I've gained 30 pounds in the past 3 years... NOT ok in my books. My goal: 8 pounds by the beginning of December.

-FLOGGING F'N MOLLY at the Asylum on September 19th.

-Sox game on September 23rd.

-Applying at school districts around the area. Wish me luck!
Current Mood: chipperchipper
Current Music: Viva la Vida (Coldplay)
18 July 2008 @ 09:43 am
It's been a long while since I've posted and I feel as if I should for my own sanity. Perhaps I could deal with this year better if I had an outlet to release everything. I've noticed that it's been harder for me since I haven't been writing at all much, but hopefully this will help.

Things for me and my family have not improved over the past few months. Dad's doing well in terms of his surgery... which was the hardest thing I think I've had to face. It's too bad that you never realize how important people are to you when you're faced with losing them. There are so many things, awful things, that I would say about my father during middle school and high school; so many times that I wanted to run away just because he didn't approve of something. But honestly, if I could go back in time and talk to the former me, I'd kick my ass. I never realized how much he truly cared about me and wanted the best for me, he just had a peculiar way of showing it. If anything good came out of this whole situation with my dad, it has only brought me closer to my parents, especially my dad. I guess when your dad has a tumor the size of a football on his right kidney, it puts things into perspective. I was hoping that after the surgery and his recuperation, things would be looking up for my family... but oh how wrong I was.

The same night as my dad's surgery, my brother tried to stop a fight at a friend's house during a party and nearly got his eye raked out. He had to have surgery a few days later to repair the damage done. They couldn't fix it in the emergency room since they were afraid that they would permanently damage his eye, so he had to see a specialist. That's two members of my family that had surgery in the same day.

My dad's company recently got bought out by some Italian guy who knows nothing of the steel business... he's got a PhD in Physics. This guy thinks he's totally going to revolutionize the steel business, but instead, he's putting the company into the hole. Lots of people are getting laid off, customers are leaving and going to other companies. Needless to say, Dad lost his job. He's got loads of bills to pay because of the surgery and now he doesn't have a job. He hasn't trusted this new owner from the very beginning, but he refused to quit because he wouldn't have severance pay. He's still on his insurance for up to a year since he got laid off, but that also means that I no longer have insurance, so if something happens to me, I'm S.O.L. Oh yeah, David got fired too because he was my father's son.

I had a mole removed on my back a couple of weeks ago since the doctor thought it looked really suspicious. She said that it'd probably be nothing, but they wanted to take extra precautions. Results came back and it was pre-cancerous. If I had waited another year to have it removed, I would have had skin cancer. Fantastic.

I was leaving Dan's house Wednesday morning and my phone rang and I noticed that it was my dad. I thought it was weird since he rarely calls me and that it was fairly early in the morning. The first thing he said was, "Well, I have some bad news." Great, exactly what we need more of. "Your grandfather had a heart attack last night and he's in the hospital." He had a heart attack Tuesday night and if he had waited another 20 minutes to do anything about it, i.e.- call anyone, he would have died. We're thankful that he made it to the hospital in time, and we're also thankful that the diagnosis is better than they had previously thought. When we got there, it sounded like he was on his deathbed, but when we left, things were looking up. That's three family members in the hospital in the past 6 months.

I'm currently looking for teaching positions and I'm honest to God, absolutely scared to death. When I think about possibly going in for an interview, I get this tightness in my chest like someone is squeezing my lungs until there isn't an ounce of air left in them. I suddenly forget that I majored in Elementary Ed, and forget everything that I learned. I'm so excited to have my own classroom, yet I fear that I'm not quite ready. I'm not getting as many hours as I'd like at Yankee Candle, nor would I ever want to make that my permanent career. Money's getting tight and I'm literally living from paycheck to paycheck. I'm afraid that I don't have enough confidence in myself to get a teaching job, but again, I'm working on it.

I'm just incredibly frustrated and confused because I honestly don't understand why my family and I have had such bad luck this year. It's like someone seriously doesn't like us right now and is trying to do everything to pull the family apart. I obviously know someone isn't the cause for all of our misfortunes this year, but it's unbelievable how it's one thing right after the other. There's no lull in the excitement, that's for sure. If we can escape this year without a major meltdown or a death in the family, it'll be a miracle.

Things I am looking forward to within the next few weeks: going home to SoPo for a couple days next week, the release of Breaking Dawn, and Flogging Molly at the Asylum in September. At least there's those things.
Current Mood: stressedstressed
Current Music: Everyday is Exactly the Same (Nine Inch Nails)
09 March 2008 @ 11:48 pm
In a short post, I just wanted to let everyone know that my dad is fine. He had his operation on Friday to remove the kidney, although it was twice as big as they had expected. His operation lasted seven hours, starting at 8 a.m. He was pretty much unconscious until my mom and I went back to the ICU a few hours later. Perhaps I held everything in as much as I could, but when I saw him trying to wake up with respirator tubes taped down his throat, I had to excuse myself from the room because I was crying too hard and I didn't want the first thing he remembers from after the surgery was me bawling. It's been a very long, hard road this week, but he's starting to look better and better every day. They believe they got all of the cancer out and aren't sure if he will be undergoing chemotherapy. He's out of ICU and is now on a regular floor. He isn't up and moving on his own yet, and still has the magic button that has his pain killers in them, but he really looks so much better from what he did a few days ago. He's healing a lot faster than expected, which is so great. We hope this is only the beginning of good luck for us, because we really need it.
28 February 2008 @ 12:35 am
I'm so excited for this month to be over, because it's seriously been one of the worst months of my life. I guess when it rains, it pours. Ladies and gentlemen, it's officially monsoon season.

I haven't really got a lot to update about my dad's condition. Surgery is next week, and a lot more intense than previously thought. It was basically confirmed that it's cancer, which blew me away yet again. He's going in on Thursday for a small procedure before the big operation, which will be Friday. Surgery is going to last up to six hours, with several different specialists in the room just in case anything goes wrong. After surgery, my dad is going to be in intensive care for up to 10 days, but they expect anywhere from 5-7 days. It depends on how well he recuperates. He's going to have to undergo some blood transfusions as well. My mom told me all this information while choking back lots of tears. I just can't believe this is reality. This completely came so out of left field for us that I guess it makes the blow hurt that much more. I don't really know how my dad is taking it yet, he's basically just trying to forget about it all and make sure that everything and everyone is going to be ok in case something happens. He's doing the usual dad stuff and making sure I have everything all set with my car, which is another bad luck story entirely. He's been trying to get his mind off everything by still going to work, but finishing off the day with as many rum & cokes as he can drink. Tonight my mom said he had already had a few drinks when I called. I could tell because he had broken my great-grandfather's fiddle out and was playing it as loud as he could. If my dad had his way, he wouldn't have told anyone about his surgery and condition until next week. Everyone is taking it pretty hard, especially my grandfather. My aunt and my grandfather are coming down for the surgery next week and bunking at the house. I'm either sleeping on the couch or in my parents' bed with my mom. My mom doesn't want to be sleeping at the house anyway, she wants to stay at the hospital with my dad if they'll let her. I guess I can understand since she's only been married to the man for 38 years. But, sleeping arrangements is the last thing on our minds right now because I don't think anyone in my family is going to sleep very well in the upcoming weeks. My mom does all she can to not cry whenever I talk to her, and the fact that my brother hasn't talked to her or gone to visit isn't helping the situation any. She talks like it's the end of the world and that my dad isn't going to make it. All I can do is to tell her to look to the summer when we're all out to the camp next to the fire amongst the blankets of fireflies, roasting marshmallows with Bacardi & Cokes in our hands.

As for the bad luck with my car, it all started a few days before Christmas where I got a flat tire and literally had no one but AAA to come and help me out. The tire got fixed, supposedly, and I had it put back on. But, the tire would continuously deflate. Every Tuesday, I had to go to the gas station to fill it back up. Then, one random time it snowed, my right windshield wiper snapped right off as I was driving. That happened on a Wednesday. Sunday night, my neighbor hit my car while she was backing out of the driveway, leaving a pretty nasty dent in my driver's side door. Tuesday night while driving Dan back to his house, my tire was almost completely deflated and en route to the gas station again, the tire blew out. AAA had to be my savior again. Then Sunday night when I was driving to the hockey game, I rear-ended someone. He had started to make a right hand turn, but for some reason hesitated at the last moment when I had already stepped on the gas. Granted, I hit him when I was only going 5 mph, but I still did some damage to my car, and none to his. I guess I'd rather have it that way, because that's seriously the last thing that I need to worry about. My neighbor did admit to hitting my car, and I have to show her the estimate and get her insurance information. Again, this stuff is really the last thing on my mind right now, I'm more worried about my dad than anything. However, my dad is more worried about me driving around without a spare tire than his current condition. Whatever gets his mind off things, I guess.

I owe the university over a thousand dollars for my class since my Stafford Loan is not going to pay for it since I'm an undecided graduate student. After all of this crap that's been going on with my dad and my car, I am not going to ask them for that money. Therefore, I had to make out yet another loan that will take me a million years to pay off with teacher salary, granted I find a job for next year.

Since I've been subbing a lot in Orono lately, I was given a heads up about a Title I position that is opening up. The job entails helping students who struggle in math or reading and providing supplementary activities to help them understand the material. A 35 hour a week position with benefits, completely ideal for me right now. The position that's possibly opening up is for grade 3-5 math. Oh God, if it was anything but math, but that would make my bad luck month better, and that'd be too good to be true.

Please, if you find the time, pray for my dad. And for my mom, because I honestly think my mom is taking this much worse than my dad ever would, and I just can't imagine my life without both of my parents in it.
Current Mood: worriedworried
Current Music: New Soul (Yael Naim)
17 February 2008 @ 06:47 pm
My dad is invincible. I've always thought that, even as a kid. He rarely gets sick, and if he does, it's for a day and then he's back to normal. He never gets hurt, with all the things he does, building camps, hunting in the woods and all that normal Dad stuff. Nothing ever happens to him, he's always healthy and ready to tackle a new project. While my dad and I have had our many, many differences throughout the years, the bombshell last night blew them all away. My invincible dad has a tumor. A large one. On his kidney. I didn't believe him when he told me. I thought he was just joking around. It wasn't until I saw my mom crying in the middle of a restaurant that I thought he could be serious. "A word of advice, get an annual physical once you hit the age of forty. Things can be prevented... I have to have a kidney removed. I have a big ass tumor on my kidney." It literally felt like the nightly train through Orono derailed and hit me precisely in my chair at Margaritas. I didn't know what else to say but, "Are you serious?" That's why he's not going back to Toronto this week. He's having surgery within the next few weeks. He would have surgery this week, but the doctor he wants to perform the surgery is on vacation next week. My dad wants nothing but the best doctor in Portland for this sort of procedure. Rehab time will be 4-6 weeks. I just cant' believe my invincible dad is not so invincible anymore, and that scares the shit out of me.

I'm going to be coming home a lot, or as much as I can, within the next few weeks. I'd love to see some familiar faces, 'cause I'll really need them.
Current Mood: numbnumb
22 December 2007 @ 01:25 am
Well, I've officially finished with student teaching. I got done about two weeks ago. I can't believe it's over with, and I really miss it. I miss the kids more than anything, especially a few in particular. You know that you have found something you are passionate about when you miss the students like they were your own class. My plan following this semester is to sub in Old Town and the surrounding areas like Milford, Brewer, and Bradley. I'm going to continue to work at Yankee Candle for the time being too, so I'll have two sources of income, hopefully.

I've been working a lot since school got over. I've been putting in 30+ hours a week, which is a lot more than usual. I'm so sick of dealing with stupid people day in and day out. I especially love the customers that argue with me about the pricing or the sales, when I know what's on sale and what isn't. It makes it even better when they tell me I'm either flat out wrong or completely stupid. I always get a kick out of their reaction when I (or my co-workers) put them in their place. It's very satisfying, in some sick and twisted way, to see them get utterly pissed off. But, only a few more days of dealing with the last minute Christmas shoppers. I have to work 8-4 tomorrow, 10-6 on Sunday, and 8-4 on Christmas Eve. Then I'm going home for Christmas to SoPo and I'll hopefully be around until Friday morning, so I'd like to see everyone if I could... hint hint.

I hope everyone is doing well in these final few days before Christmas. =)
Current Mood: sleepysleepy
Current Music: Conan O'Brien